Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

• 25TH HOUR: White New Yorkers commit crimes against both law and ethics; feel bad for being caught, rather than for doing it at all.
• 300: Gays kill blacks.
• 8 MILE: White man successfully co-opts black culture to impress other whites.
• ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
• ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
• BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
• BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
• BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.
• CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
• CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
• DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.
• DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
• DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
• DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
• E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
• FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
• FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.
• GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
• GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
• GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
• JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
• JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
• KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
• KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
• LASSIE COME HOME: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
• LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
• LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
• MILK: Uppity queer dies.
• MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
• OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
• OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.
• ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST: Disruptive mental patients treated.
• PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Woman with gold-digging mother nags wealthy man into marriage.
• RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
• RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.
• ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
• ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
• ROCKY: White man beats black man.
• SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
• SCHINDLER’S LIST: Wealthy industrialist expands not-for-profit ventures.
• SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
• SIGNS: Jesus trumps science.
• SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident. Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape.
• SLEEPY HOLLOW: Veteran harassed.
• SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
• SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.
• TAXI DRIVER: Modern dating proves challenging for working class man.
• TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.
• THE FIRM: White lawyer learns hard work is irrelevant.
• THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
• THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
• THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
• THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.
• TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
• TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
• TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
• TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
• TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
• TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: Father becomes more involved in teenage daughter’s life.
• V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
• WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
• WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.

via postmodernbarney

3 Responses to “Uncomfortable Plot Summaries”

1. laborator says:

   22/04/2009 at 12:15

   These are brilliant )

   Reply
2. payday advance online says:

   24/05/2009 at 01:41

   These are really great. I do hate uncomfortable plots. You have found some of the best ones. This must hace taken forever to put together.

   Reply
3. pcl says:

   24/09/2009 at 23:24

   Hilarious! What a way to summarize movies! Now I have a better idea of what the movies I haven’t seen are all about.

   Reply